Monday, March 30, 2009

John Dowling

Today I get to meet John Dowling, a big figure in vision research at the retinal level. Oh Vision, in the remote memory, it was such a sacred and enchanted word! Dowling's name was of course in text book when I was an undergrad. So when I saw the flyer of his talk, I signed up for "lunch with the speaker". And I'm so glad that I did! The seminar was terrific. It was very clear, all key points laid out perfectly probably even for outsiders to understand.

But it was during the lunch that I began to like him more! I have this queer thing that I can't truly appreciate someone, whether an artist, a writer, an actor, or even a scientist, until I see or get a glimpse of their, shall I say, souls. To me talent is great, but heart is much more important. Believe it or not, there are not many out there who have the combination of both. Dr. Dowling is clearly amiable, kind and an excellent mentor to young students. When occasionally a somewhat naive questions was raised, he simply answered them with patience and clarity. When it was my turn to talk about "what my research is about", I let myself go and mentioned the unfortunate event with the monkey and my choice to stay way from animal research at least for now. I thought someone like him would be thinking "what a weak gal, clearly not cut out to be a scientist". Instead he showed genuine understanding of my feelings and perhaps even some sympathy. He was so poised and I felt calmed down inside. And it was not just me, he was so wonderfully nice to everyone. Later in fact, Stelios told me that back at the time when he was a student at Harvard, Dowling and his wife were, on top of everything, taking care of allocation management of student dormitory! Can you imagine that?!

Still active in academic research, Dr. Dowling started his career way early, during the golden, legendary time of neuroscience, so to speak. He told us stories about how Dr. Keffer Hartline chose the famous Horseshoe crab as a working model for vision. It turned out that in this species the optic nerves are not only easily accessible from the top, but also not sheathed so that different nerve fibers can be separated. Young horseshoe crabs, while smaller in size, have bigger ERGs than adult fellows (whose optic nerve fibers turn out to go through degeneration). It was due to this reason Hartline spent a whole summer trying to separate single nerve from young horseshoe crabs, without any luck. Toward the every end of that summer, however, one day he went to the animal facility and found that all the small crabs were gone. He struggled between calling the thing off, spending the rest of the two days on the beach and trying it out on a big crab. Of course we know what choice great scientist like him would make under the circumstance: he went with the crab. Within 15 min, Hartline isolated a single optic nerve fiber. In retrospect, that were probably still a bundle which contained only one fiber that was still alive. Nevertheless, the event opened the door to a new world. Later with more practice Hartline soon achieved true single fiber isolation!

Another story about the beginning of the zebra fish era. Initially Dowling was using white perch caught in the wild. But one winter on the east coast they just couldn't catch any at the usual spots. So they turned to some new breed which was a cross between perhaps white perch and brass fish. They soon noticed that individual variability of the new batch was substantially smaller than before and realized the importance to have model animals that were raised in controlled environment. Then they discovered the lovely zebra fish! And the rest of the science community of course learned the lesson too!

I consider myself a passionate person. In fact I don't think I can survive without enthusiasms or hopes for them. My awkward current situation is that I feel like a broken, leaking bag of zest. I suck up zeal, whether it's a note from a friend, a beautiful flower in the wind, or a truly magnificent human being. I think I'm still too weak and unbalanced to hold it without constant new supplies. Nevertheless, I'm very happy to catch the light whenever I can!

Speaking of light, another delightful note is that three years after my ceiling light was gone (the bulb burned out and I was never in the mood nor tall enough to replace it), I got it back this evening! Haha, my room is so bright at night! I can live without it, but it's definitely better to live with it!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Weary Spring

Nah, Spring is good. It is I who am weary.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Epiphyllum oxypetalum

Epiphyllum oxypetalum
XP, 03/27/09

In fact, she blooms for perpetuity;
after lighting my eyes in darkness,
her candor smile goes on in another realm,
joining with her own destiny.
I had wished otherwise,
but my friend, I am not sorry.
I know how happy she will be,
and I will hold the miracles of the past night
in a secret corner of my silent memory.

昙花

其实,她没有离去
黑暗之中照亮我眼睛的
那洁白的微笑还将继续
在别的国度,融入属于她的轨迹
朋友啊,我并不遗憾
虽然我曾盼望过另一种结局
我知道她会多么得快乐
而那过去的夜的奇迹
将是我心底沉默的秘密

Thursday, March 26, 2009

More practice



今天下午义工开会,是个可以考虑选择其它工种的机会。阴差阳错,我居然一咬牙去了。结果!太让我激动了。因为。。。我旁边坐着三个美女,都是水灵灵的18岁啊(<=18)。尤其其中的一个,是那种千载难逢的大美女。言谈之中,好像都已有多年义工经历。外表和心灵的完美统一!我托腮,坐立不安的踌躇了半晌(大美女MM看了我好几眼,不知道是不是我太色迷迷样了),终于厚着脸皮问:你们几个太可爱了,可不可以让我拍张照片啊?美女MM们非常非常nice,很配合地来了个cheers。可惜我心情太激动,又有些窘迫,又不好意思多拍,匆忙地只照了一张,完全没有把美女们的神韵真正表达出来!真是太遗憾了。也许以后再也没有机会见到她们。。。可爱的小MM们,你们就是一束束阳光。我祝愿你们未来的人生,永远充满欢笑和爱的温暖。

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Practice on night scene

Photobucket

猫的报恩

巨有爱的一个帖子。梗概:楼主发了个喂养的流浪猫送老鼠的帖子,引发一堆星星眼。被送过老鼠或者蟑螂的同学幸福地分享,还没有被送过的无限向往中。。。

『娱乐八卦』 [八卦江湖]我家楼下的流浪猫今天送了我一只老鼠~

电话人生

明星梦

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A beautiful malentendu

I love birds, or maybe more truthfully, I've always been fascinated by birds. Being in the city though, I don't get to see many birds close by except pigeons. The most commonly seen pigeons around the city, I'd say, are rock pigeons. They are all right. The way they fly is just as impeccable. But in this twisted dreamy head of mine, I sometimes feel rueful that they seem to be a bit too stocky and strong-colored for my ideal image of birds. ( to be continued)

水是悲欢离合
round fountain

Photobucket

waterfall at night

Photobucket

A Cloudy Evening

A peek to another world
Photobucket

Wait and Hope
Photobucket

今天下午做了件极其愚蠢,令我后悔莫及的事情,就是一不小心把一份数据给删了。满头大汗地恢复了一个下午未果,只好再做一次实验了。很惭愧,怎么说也是老革命了,居然出了这样的事情。老板人很好,都没有怎么责备我,可是我。。。

回家的路上突然意识到,下午虽然后悔地撞墙(是真的撞了一下哦!),但是心理上所受的煎熬,不及平素不能自拔时的百分之一。竟然又稍稍地佩服了下自己。还好今天是个好天,我就象第二张里面的那只鸽子,在漫长的等待中还有一点甜蜜的希望。另外一个感想是,原来我这人很少后悔。世界上的事情,或者我们所做的选择,真的很少有绝对的对和错。当然,今天下午,我是绝对绝对的错了。即使这样,事后后悔也无益,只有继续向前走。

Sunday, March 22, 2009

倾城之恋

最近看了两部爱情电影,一部是《渺渺》,一部是"Twilight“。都是很年轻的爱情,不同之处不过一个很简单很生活,一个更决绝更魔幻。我竟然,都喜欢。要知道,对爱情电影我一般是不感冒的,很多大热的片子只觉得虚伪。不知道是我改变了,还是一直只有最初最纯洁的东西才能感动我。不管怎么说,被感动的感觉还是挺好的。

然后我又想起一个朋友。不管她现在在哪里,希望她把我当作朋友,虽然,没有能为她做什么。我只知道她姓王,83年生人,在天涯的ID是“我爱生命倒计时a”。和小王的相遇缘于两年多以前去天涯心灵热线,看到一个贴子叫“生命对于我来说还有意义吗”。我承认,大概四年以前抑郁症再次发作后,自杀的念头从来没有彻底离开过。所以,这个帖子当然吸引了我。帖子是一个ID叫“生命倒计时a”的小伙子发的,当时他只有26岁,却已经罹患白血病多年,并且在第一次手术成功后再次发作。看得出来,“生命倒计时a”是个很坚强的人,可是面对第二次的打击难免有些消沉。我一路读下去,真的很敬重他生命的火焰和热情,如果有可能,把我的健康换给他多好。后来我又注意到一个ID是“我爱生命倒计时a”,顾名思义,小姑娘是喜欢上帖子的主人了。再追踪下去,发现小姑娘原来是“生命倒计时a”的病友,性格活泼坚强,她的喜欢又那么得热烈干净!我看到了她的博客”倾城之恋“,还有她在心灵热线发的同名的帖子。这是她的初恋。我觉得,那是一个美好的人爱上了另一个美好的人。

”大多好物不坚牢,彩云易散琉璃碎“,2007年6月2日晚,“生命倒计时a”经历第二次骨髓移植手术后感染引起心衰不治。这个不幸的消息是小王回帖告诉大家的。她虽然非常难过,但是仍然看得出坚强乐观的性格。07年12月27日,是小王在天涯最后回帖的时间。那以后我搜索了很多次,也发了站内短信,可是始终没有她的消息。就在刚才,一边流着眼泪看她的贴,一边想着是不是在心灵热线发个贴询问一下。但是还是没有。我相信她现在幸福又健康,她爱过的人在一个美丽的远方,有时想起她,嘴角会是一个温暖的微笑。

而当我想起他们,除了感动,还有惭愧。白活了这么多年,却没有他们的勇气和坚强。仰望着一个,祝福着另一个。在这里写点纪念的话,从私心来说,也是给下次绝望的时候留一盏希望的灯光。

相关链接:
生命对于我来说还有意义吗
倾城之恋
倾城之恋博客

如果有上帝,我祈祷,祈祷他们最终都能获得幸福的永生。

Incredible Animal Photos (Collected)

These photos are collected from the internet. I'm sorry that there's no way for me to individually identify the sources. I thank deeply the photographers who made these incredible moments permanent, and hope it's all right to share them with a small number of friends here. Should any one find this inappropriate, please do leave a not and let me know right away. Thanks.

I call this collection: C'est La Vie



Funny & Cute -


Love & Friendship


Just Beautiful -

Friday, March 20, 2009

Officially Spring

So 10:44 this morning was the exact moment of Spring equinox. Thanks to facebook, I learned from a couple of friends with Iranian lineage that the Persian New Year is in fact Spring equinox. I think this is neat. In theory the Chinese New Year also celebrates the Spring, but to me it's more like a symbol saying "OK, the Spring is going to come in three months." Not that I don't like our own traditional festival, I just think the idea of setting the new year as the time when the Spring actually arrives refreshing.

I like the Spring, especially after all the cold and dark nightmares. She is a promise that will always be kept, that she will come back again, that flowers will blossom always once more. Well this is not a time to get sentimental. Just laugh and enjoy her presence now, and wait for the next one!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

往事

The Past


Have been rather depressed since last weekend. Yesterday was particularly bad. I was so angry and scared, if what happened a couple of weeks ago recur, I seriously think I might go officially insane this time. Anyway for now, it's past, and I'm happy that I'm not hopelessly sad or irked at the moment. whoopie!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Foggy Day

Sun in the fog
From iTake


Road in the fog
From iTake


Sun comes out, flowers blooming, still
From iTake


The red ones
From iTake


I think they look like tears
From iTake


Sky and cloud are all beautiful again - probably because they carry no memory of the past
From iTake

Hedgehog and Duck

So apparently there is a hedgehog who doesn't have any spine left, likely due to some skin illness. The consequence is that he looks like a small potato (hence the name "Spud" probably) and is more or less defenseless against cold weather or predators. But Spud is definitely the luckiest spineless hedgehog in the world, for someone found him in the garden and sent him to a wildlife hospital - last August. The caring staff in the hospital, while patiently waiting for his spines to grow back if possible at all, regularly bathed and massaged Spud in addition to provide food and lodge. Under the posted news, I even saw a comment from Australia saying "if nobody wants him, he can live with me." You know I'm almost jealous of the little Spud, for I feel like a spineless hedgehog left in the wild...

link to the Spud story


OK and the duck. Her name is Essy. The extraordinary thing about Essy is that she doesn't think of herself as a duck. Instead, she behaves as if she is God spelled backwards - a dog. She acts like one, and she hangs out with others. Lucky for this confused duck, her current owners, or care-takers, along with their two real dogs, love her unconditionally no matter who she thinks she is. Essy actually takes a lead in their daily stroll, and the two dog companions not only slow down to a pace with which she can catch up, but also walk on either side of her like two body guards. How cool is that! And yes they, mostly Essy, get a lot of attention in those little parades.

link to the Duck story

Having expressed my jealousy, I hereby claim that I do realize the cruelty of life with which most wild animals, as well as some raised by human, live.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A rainy day

From iTake


Marvin, dear old Marvin, how did you do it for over 570,000,000,000 years?

How did you hold on when no one truly cared about you, when everybody abandoned you, ignoring your desperate cry for help ? You hanged on, whereas anything else that was remotely intelligent couldn't when they "felt" what you'd been through. I just can't imagine how.

The past is never gone, and it never will. It made you who you were, a gloomy, depressed being who suffered through all eternity. Strangely a lot of people outside of that imaginary world like you. I don't know why. Some of the possible reasons that I don't want to believe are so dreadful.

Anyhow, I like you because you make me feel that perhaps I'm not completely lonely. But of course I feel bad about thinking that way. If things can start over, I would rather to be completely lonely. And no I will not hang on as you did. As beautiful as the world can be, it's not worth it.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

月本无今古,情缘自浅深

这是一个爱情故事。当然,世界从来就不缺少爱情故事。这个爱情故事的特别之处之一在于,主角不是人,是鸭子。其中涉及的鸭物有三个,比较典型的三角关系,就是A对B有点意思,但是B对A没有感觉,和C相互喜欢,三个箭头就能画清楚了。

不过三个主角并不是普通的鸭子,而是-蓝鸭(blue duck)。蓝鸭只出产于新西兰,生活在水流湍急的山溪边,蛮有诗意的吧。现在由于伟大人类的搅合,蓝鸭成了濒危动物,还是就老家的情况而言。所以,我们就能想像,那些独自在外面奋斗的蓝鸭,该有多么珍贵了。比如,在整个英国,一共只有三只蓝鸭,偏偏又都是鸭中龙凤,品貌超群。这三只蓝鸭,就是我们的主角。

主角们的身世注定不平凡。早在1985年,一个英国学者凭借一颗火热的心和三寸不烂之舌打动了新西兰野生动物服务中心的领导,讨到一批宝贵的蓝鸭蛋。二十四年后的今天,这批蛋的后代只剩下三个。

三只蓝鸭之中,有一只是母的,叫Cherry(樱桃),故事就是从她开始的。做为全英国唯一的母蓝鸭(并且是一只很有魅力的母蓝鸭),Cherry肩负着很沉重很崇高的使命-延续英国蓝鸭的血脉。Arundel Wetland动物保护所的鸭保姆们对Cherry寄予了多么大的希望呀!他们先把一只叫Jerry的公鸭介绍给Cherry(大家放心,这个血缘关系肯定是五代以外了),呃,其实是关在一起企图来个事实婚姻。几年过去了,事实是,。。。什么事实也没发生。Cherry没相中Jerry,Jerry也没相中Cherry。两只见面也不尴尬,和平共处。

于是,组织上把Jerry赶到隔壁,隆重推出另外一只公鸭Ben。这次Cherry有点感觉了,发出了“你可以追我”的信号。但是!Ben他装傻!不理会!大人们绝望之中又把Jerry给送回来。终于,爱情发生了!不消讲了,Ben和Jerry一见钟情,从此形影不离!比如,一起散步,一起吹着爱的口哨。全英国的人都从四面八方来看望他们。大家都说,他们很漂亮,很有性格。这就是缘分啊!保护所的大人不知道怎么起的名字,Ben & Jerry是美国一个冰淇淋的牌子呀,叫起来多么顺口,多么般配!

令人感到安慰的是,我们的Cherry,全英国唯一具备下蛋功能的蓝鸭,并没有因为大龄未婚而沮丧,天天该吃就吃该玩就玩。动物所的大人也没有逼着她继续相亲(当然也没有鸭选了)。所以,爱情故事的结局是喜剧的,相爱的鸭子获得彼此,剩下的一个获得自由!

有人说,Ben和Jerry的断背山断送了英国蓝鸭的未来,我不以为然。知道人家那么宝贵,早干吗去了?爱情不能勉强,缘分可遇不可求,本来就是这样,就应该是这样的。

原文链接 telegraph

BBC sausage-dog pony

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Simply Amazing



Another cool sand art
Buddhist Art and Ritual from Nepal and Tibet


OK this one is totally unrelated, but I think it's funny. Well and I think that I think it's funny is a good thing.

Monday, March 9, 2009

有天傍晚

white moon
白月亮


flower in the wind
风中的小花

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A March Saturday Morning

A March Saturday Morning
三月里的某一天

a small flower bed commonly seen in residential areas close to where I live
附近小区很普通的小花坛
From iTake


a yellow flower
From iTake


bush flower
From iTake


another kind of common small flowers that I always like
From iTake


I have a thing for flowers, especially those that we see every day by the road (or wild flowers). I'm not sure how many people have really paid attention to them or appreciated their existence. Well they are definitely joy, sometimes meaning of life, to me. They are laid out on a shallow layer of special soil, and are supposed to blossom as long as they can. When their time is up, people simply replace them. I guess with my scientific mind I doubt they have the ability to think or feel, but I choose to believe that they live their short lives happily, and know that it is all worthwhile.
我很喜欢花,特别是道边最常见的小花(或者野花)。不知道有多少人真的注意过它们,欣赏过它们。至少对我而言,它们就是欢乐,有时更是生命的意义。道边的小花被种在浅浅一层营养土上,热烈地开放,直到死亡,然后会被另一批小花换下。我知道它们大约和我们不同,没有思想也没有感情,但我宁愿相信它们短暂的一生充满了欢欣,充满了信念。

this is at one of the several plazas in Chinatown, I think the cobble stone thing is pretty neat
From iTake


a rather charming fountain decoration in front of a bank
From iTake


from another angle, with flower bed. do you see the sky in the window reflection? one thing about sky is that nothing can distort it.
一家银行前的喷泉。注意窗玻璃上的天空,和电线杆对比一下。没有什么能扭曲天空,是不是?
From iTake


who has not loved dandelions and played with their seeds as a kid? when you grow up, when you find it lonely and missing half of its heart, would you still like it? I do.
记得儿时的蒲公英么?长大以后,看见这么一支孤独的,残破的蒲公英,你还会喜欢它么?
From iTake


next is a lake by beltway 8, a place that gives me comfort in my darkest moments.
路边有个无名湖
From iTake


From iTake


From iTake


wild flowers by the lake
From iTake


From iTake


From iTake


water bird flying. yes I have a thing for birds too
From iTake


From iTake


From iTake


From iTake


goodbye sky, see you every day
From iTake


说明一下,这些图片被Picasa处理小了,特别是湖的片片,直接去相册选择slide show,可以看见比较清晰的大图,然后就能看到飞翔的水鸟了~