I consider Vivian Leigh the most beautiful woman who ever lived in this world. Of course, apart from her undeniable beauty, there is a strong personal bias to this claim. After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, isn't it? In fact, I'm afraid that I don't really know a whole lot about this beautiful woman and exceptional actress. What makes her special in my heart is her passion for love and acting, the unforgettable Myra that she portrayed in "Waterloo Bridge" (I read that in her later years she once commented that that was her favorite character), and perhaps strange to many - her neurotic side, all the suffering she went through till the end of her life.
Last Mon night I watched "A Streetcar Named Desire", an old time Oscar winning film. I've heard a long while back that in this movie Vivian Leigh successfully played a neurotic middle aged woman, and won Oscar for the second time. Well since I like her so much, when I got a chance, I thought, I have to watch this.
I don't really know how to describe my feeling while watching it or after. The excellence of Leigh's performance didn't really surprise me. To me she WAS that character Blanche, and that character completely overwhelmed me. I know I'll never have the courage to watch it again. In fact, I couldn't even finish writing up a little something afterwards, it was my heart but not my hands that were trembling.
I've found that I'm a very sympathetic person, not to say I'm good in any way, but I do seem to feel intensely other people's pain, of course, mine too. This pain is even stronger when I share similar experience or state with the suffered ones. Blanche, poor, delusional Blanche, hysterical Blanche, a woman who has no hope but a vague, fractured dream that some kind of relation with a guy, sexual or marital, will save her from all the wretchedness and keep her fading beauty on a thin line. Whatever dragged her to that state did not matter, it was the state she was trapped in that stroke me hard. That despair, nervous breakdown, even the small detail of frequently seeking comfort in a hot bath, are all so familiar to me. It was so familiar that they almost evoked some kind of resonance in my heart, painful and terrifying. I guess I have not lied or kidded myself so much that I actually believed in my illusionary dreams, but there are things that I certainly didn't want to do but did anyway. I don't know what I'll become. To ease that pain one might be capable of anything, I just don't know for how long I can still hold on to myself. Honestly if I had that kind of beauty and had been able to attract attention as Blanche did, who knows what I would have done. At least Blanche had a sister that she can go to when she had nowhere else to go. Well I don't. I really don't. There might be a few noble hearts that genuinely pity you, but I'd expect a lot more disgust and taking advantage. I can't be that way, and I won't. I don't give it a damn about the so called family I sort of have, if I know I'm close to that point, I will not endure one day more.
Vivian Leigh certainly had passed her prime years of physical beauty when shooting that film, but once in a while, when she smiled, I instantly caught a glimpse of Myra, pretty, true, faithful, innocent Myra, the girl who died willingly before life could play any more evil on her. Oh that heavenly face, that flawless smile, it broke my heart, it really broke my heart.
Super trouper beams are gonna blind me But I wont feel blue Like I always do cause somewhere in the crowd theres you
I was sick and tired of everything When I called you last night from glasgow All I do is eat and sleep and sing Wishing every show was the last show (wishing every show was the last show) So imagine I was glad to hear youre coming (glad to hear youre coming) Suddenly I feel all right (and suddenly its gonna be) And its gonna be so different When Im on the stage tonight
Tonight the Super trouper lights are gonna find me Shining like the sun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Smiling, having fun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Feeling like a number one Tonight the Super trouper beams are gonna blind me But I wont feel blue (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Like I always do (sup-p-per troup-p-per) cause somewhere in the crowd theres you
Facing twenty thousand of your friends How can anyone be so lonely Part of a success that never ends Still Im thinking about you only (still Im thinking about you only) There are moments when I think Im going crazy (think Im going crazy) But its gonna be alright (youll soon be changing everything) Everything will be so different When Im on the stage tonight
Tonight the Super trouper lights are gonna find me Shining like the sun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Smiling, having fun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Feeling like a number one Tonight the Super trouper beams are gonna blind me But I wont feel blue (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Like I always do (sup-p-per troup-p-per) cause somewhere in the crowd theres you
So Ill be there when you arrive The sight of you will prove to me Im still alive And when you take me in your arms And hold me tight I know its gonna mean so much tonight
Tonight the Super trouper lights are gonna find me Shining like the sun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Smiling, having fun (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Feeling like a number one Tonight the Super trouper beams are gonna blind me But I wont feel blue (sup-p-per troup-p-per) Like I always do (sup-p-per troup-p-per) cause somewhere in the crowd theres you
ABBA The Winner Takes All
I don’t wanna talk About the things we’ve gone through Though it’s hurting me Now it’s history I’ve played all my cards And that’s what you’ve done too Nothing more to say No more ace to play
The winner takes it all The loser standing small Beside the victory That’s her destiny
I was in your arms Thinking I belonged there I figured it made sense Building me a fence Building me a home Thinking I’d be strong there But I was a fool Playing by the rules
The gods may throw a dice Their minds as cold as ice And someone way down here Loses someone dear The winner takes it all The loser has to fall It’s simple and it’s plain Why should I complain.
But tell me does she kiss Like I used to kiss you? Does it feel the same When she calls your name? Somewhere deep inside You must know I miss you But what can I say Rules must be obeyed
The judges will decide The likes of me abide Spectators of the show Always staying low The game is on again A lover or a friend A big thing or a small The winner takes it all
I don’t wanna talk If it makes you feel sad And I understand You’ve come to shake my hand I apologize If it makes you feel bad Seeing me so tense No self-confidence But you see The winner takes it all The winner takes it all......
ABBA Chiquitita
Chiquitita, tell me whats wrong Youre enchained by your own sorrow In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow How I hate to see you like this There is no way you can deny it I can see that youre oh so sad, so quiet
Chiquitita, tell me the truth Im a shoulder you can cry on Your best friend, Im the one you must rely on You were always sure of yourself Now I see youve broken a feather I hope we can patch it up together
Chiquitita, you and I know How the heartaches come and they go and the scars theyre leaving Youll be dancing once again and the pain will end You will have no time for grieving Chiquitita, you and I cry But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you Let me hear you sing once more like you did before Sing a new song, chiquitita Try once more like you did before Sing a new song, chiquitita
So the walls came tumbling down And your loves a blown out candle All is gone and it seems too hard to handle Chiquitita, tell me the truth There is no way you can deny it I see that youre oh so sad, so quiet
Chiquitita, you and I know How the heartaches come and they go and the scars theyre leaving Youll be dancing once again and the pain will end You will have no time for grieving Chiquitita, you and I cry But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you Let me hear you sing once more like you did before Sing a new song, chiquitita Try once more like you did before Sing a new song, chiquitita Try once more like you did before Sing a new song, chiquitita
ABBA Take A Chance on Me
If you change your mind, I’m the first in line Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me If you need me, let me know, gonna be around If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me (that’s all I ask of you honey) Take a chance on me
We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we’re together Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better ’cos you know I’ve got So much that I wanna do, when I dream I’m alone with you It’s magic You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair But I think you know That I can’t let go
If you change your mind, I’m the first in line Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me If you need me, let me know, gonna be around If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me (come on, give me a break will you? ) Take a chance on me
Oh you can take your time baby, I’m in no hurry, know I’m gonna get you You don’t wanna hurt me, baby don’t worry, I ain’t gonna let you Let me tell you now My love is strong enough to last when things are rough It’s magic You say that I waste my time but I can’t get you off my mind No I can’t let go ’cos I love you so
If you change your mind, I’m the first in line Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me If you need me, let me know, gonna be around If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best, baby can’t you see Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me (take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best, baby can’t you see Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me (take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa ba-ba Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me
Amanda Seyfried Thank you for the music (from the movie, to me this version is better than the original :)
Im nothing special, in fact Im a bit of a bore If I tell a joke, youve probably heard it before But I have a talent, a wonderful thing cause everyone listens when I start to sing Im so grateful and proud All I want is to sing it out loud
So I say Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music For giving it to me
Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk She says I began to sing long before I could talk And Ive often wondered, how did it all start? Who found out that nothing can capture a heart Like a melody can? Well, whoever it was, Im a fan
So I say Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music For giving it to me
Ive been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair I wanna sing it out to everybody What a joy, what a life, what a chance!
So I say Thank you for the music, the songs Im singing Thanks for all the joy theyre bringing Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music For giving it to me
In Horace Walpole's words，"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel." At this point of my life, I'm not really sure what life is to me. Years of depression has brought me so much pain, frustration and loneliness, sometimes I wonder if I'm still the person I used to be. Anyhow, one thing that I noticed is that speaking of drama, although I consider the greatest pieces are mostly tragic in nature as conflicts and infliction remain major themes of life, I do start to avoid tragedy when I pick a book or a movie. I love Victor Hugo and Tolkien, for instance, but I just have found myself unable to read their work. My heart aches so much, when I feel the truth, solemn and stirring, like a dreamer who couldn't agree more with an ideal yet trapped in mundane and cruel reality. And I've suffered so much from depression in all, that I know these kinds of thoughts or moments are really bad for me. So I escaped, to the realm of comedy.
I like comedies, the least they can do is to make me laugh. Good comedies, in addition, also reveal certain truth of life, often in surprising depth. ... I thank them.
意外地发掘了一个相当搞笑的电影"To be or not to be“（1983），有翻译作《你逃我也逃》，感觉不是特别好，想了两个：《事关重大》,《最好的演出》。大意是39年德国入侵波兰时，一家波兰剧院的主演兼老板夫妻和全体演员怎样临危受命，在啼笑皆非中成功地截获了一份即将送给盖世太保的波兰地下工作者名单，并且搭上一堆避难的犹太人逃出生天。因为故事主人公们大多是舞台演员，不少细节处理具有明显的戏剧味道。此片有一个更为经典的版本，拍摄制作于1942年，不过我没有看过。
主角Bronski先生是个具有典型平民特征的演员，虽然天分不高但痴心于表演，并且好大喜功；其同行夫人光彩照人，魅力四射，不满于丈夫的种种缺点，同时拥有许多美丽女人都有的虚荣心，竟然抓紧丈夫沾沾自喜地在舞台上表演《哈姆雷特》里的经典台词"To be or not to be”的十分钟，私下约会英俊的年轻军官Sobinski。本来这似乎是个普通的红杏出墙或者男小三的故事，但是德军的入侵改变了一切。当德国间谍Siletski教授即将在当地与盖世太保会面前，Bronski在夫人的支持下毅然决定发挥演员的特长，深入虎穴，一会假扮盖世太保，一会假扮Siletski，重重惊险中完成了一生中最精彩的演出！
前段还看了个"Nothing to Lose“，看网上翻做《王牌任务》，觉得还不如《狗急跳墙》呢，哈哈。著名的《肖申克的救赎》中的老安迪Tim Robbins又一次可怜见儿地以为撞见老婆和老板OOXX，一时间万念俱灰，了无生趣，偏偏碰上只会咋咋呼呼的Martin Lawrence企图抢劫，一番拼死飞车后，将满腔怒火化作打劫老板保险箱的动力。。。当然，喜剧嘛，结局是美好的，不好的都是误会，Tim回到正规，穷Martin找到了工作，两家老小其乐融融！喜剧效果主要在于细节，两个都是老戏骨，演出来再自然不过。其中有个很经典的镜头，是可怜的Tim发现脸上爬了只蜘蛛，大骇之下蹦出车外一通狂舞，被浇了汽油的鞋子又踩到火柴，那几分钟惊慌失措的乱舞实在是太让人捧腹了！也推荐一下～
The Devil Wears Prada里面，Andrea在实际工作能力确实超过第一女助理的情况下，同意代替后者去巴黎，已经被朋友指责为没有良心了。而时尚先生这一堆烂摊子，随便拣一条出来也太黑了吧。真太让人郁闷了。就象那个先跑的老师，狡猾地把教师大震来时不顾学生一声不吭哧溜窜出教室等同于只是没有舍命救人而已，不但在网上热炒，而且炒到后来居然成了宣扬自由诚实，以身下地狱的英雄了。这是一个什么样的时代！不过，更教人伤心的是，我隐隐觉得，时尚先生里面所反映的肮脏，不及真实的十一。可是大哥，丑的十分之一还是丑！
顺便贴一个Charmed中播放的歌曲，觉得这手不错”Just my imagination“. Talking about freedom, lol. http://www.jango.com/stations/25285208/tunein?u=0&song_id=116549 发现我就该多听听类似的歌，对我有好处，哈哈。
P.S. For those who have seen "Charmed", I'd like to make a few more comments. I guess in some aspect this show is a little "simpleminded", nevertheless, the magic world that it creates sometimes seems like the sort of place to which I can escape from reality. Besides, the girls are Smoking! Definitely pleasant treats for the eyes, even to a woman. Haha, am I shallow or what? As to the performance, of the three girls, I like "Prue" (Shannon) the most. I don't think it's just because the character has my sympathy, I do think she acted better than the other two. One very impressive scene is after Andy died, she couldn't use her magic power against a demon that tried to turn the book of shadow to evil. When her sisters questioned her, she broke into tears and said something like "Is it because I'm the oldest, I have to take all the responsibility? And if I'm so powerful, how come I couldn't save Andy? What good is our power if we have to watch the people we love die?" The performance is very touching indeed. In contrast, in scenes emotionally dramatic for the other two sisters, I feel their beauty, and nothing else really. Shannon dropped out of the show after three seasons. I read from the web that that was due to conflict between her and the team as well as her personal problems. And she refused to rejoin the sisters on the show later on even though the producers had hoped so. Too bad, but I personally think that might not be a bad thing for the actress anyway. All shows, in general, tend to degrade as the episodes progress - understandable, they are going to run out of good themes eventually...
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